Frozen Drink #4: Green Apple Jolly Rancher – Houston, Tx

August 10, 2016

There is the proverb about getting back on the horse after you fall off. There is also the opposite circumstance– the one in which you were incredibly successful and therefore a bit hesitant to try again, skeptical that anything could ever live up to the previous success– and we have a proverb for that one too: “quit while you’re ahead” (adapted by Kenny Rogers in “The Gambler“). Though, I suppose, we also recommend against this attitude with warnings about “resting on your laurels”…

All of this is to say that I was a bit hesitant to try another frozen drink after the estimable Montgomery Icee. But, around New Orleans, LA, I found a Gator-Ice machine and could not say no. Lamentably the machines were all out of order. In keeping with the theme of malfunction, I evidently did not manage to save the photo I took of my disappointment at this fact.

In Houston, we stopped for gas and I acquired a green apple Jolly Rancher frozen drink. There were a number of flavor options (A.T. went for pina colada) but Jolly Rancher green apple seemed the best choice in the moment (sometimes you gotta follow your gut– on which, more later). As I noted when discussing the Icee, I am documenting my experience with these drinks. As such, it was important that this was a Jolly Rancher green apple drink. When I first sipped the drink it was far too sour– not in a burning, citric acid sort of way; just in an excessive tart-ness. It was initially unpleasant and I was quite disappointed until I reminded myself that it was Jolly Rancher flavored. In fact, the drink was gustatorily unpleasant throughout and I needed to remind myself of its provenance every three or four sips. I am uncertain why this strategy helped me enjoy the drink but I have some guesses.

It is partly nostalgic association with Jolly Rancher hard candies. But, it was just as much, a product of my inappropriate assumptions about the drink. For whatever reason (probably related to the memory of the Icee, I won’t lie), I had a hard time expecting Jolly Rancher green apple so, when I was able to put myself in the proper frame of mind, it became much more pleasant to drink. As I mentioned above, these non-material/non-objective aspects of the experience do color my ratings but these reviews are not attempts at some kind Husserlian, epochal phenomenology where I strip away all that is me in order to let the object reveal itself through the sensory reflections of its ontological attributes. I don’t dislike Edmund Husserl, I just don’t think his philosophical paradigm is very well-suited to understanding my experience of convenience-store frozenĀ  drinks of the American Southwest.

If the Frizal and the Love’s form ends of the texture continuum, this Jolly Rancher frozen drink was much nearer to the Frizal: it was quite liquid-heavy with large, discrete ice crystals though it was not nearly so separated as the Frizal product had been. Both texture and flavor profile were very consistent from beginning to end of consumption. In the case of texture, this was fine. For the flavor, this was an admirable feat, let’s leave it at that…

Finally, although there is no category for this in my ratings system, I feel I should note two additional attributes of this frozen drink. First, it was every expensive at more than three dollars– most frozen drinks are in in the in the $1.75 range and few top $2.25. Second, I had a stomachache afterward. I am not certain this is attributable directly or indirectly to the frozen drink but it is the case nonetheless.

  • Quality: 5
  • Consistency: 8


  • Quality: 7
  • Consistency: 7

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